There are so many reasons to love Alber Elbaz of Lanvin — the eccentric-chic clothes that are simultaneously modest, sexy and adorable (see Natalie Portman’s Cannes 2008 wardrobe); the phoenix-like rise following massive failure at YSL; the unapologetically roly-poly bod (here’s hoping Vogue won’t demand a diet in the manner of the Rodarte girls). But this recent quote by Elbaz in the unnervingly slim September issue of Glamour raises the Moroccan-born designer to Confucian heights. Madonna, Nicole, Demi, this one’s for you:

“Don’t try to look younger than you are. The more successful you are, the younger you want to look? Why?”

If I were Glamour writer Liz Welch, I would be so livid, I would need a stiff drink or three to cool me down. After delivering a really strong story about the perils of proud binge drinking, Welch’s damning, decidedly unpreachy argument against blackout inebriation is completely undermined by Anne Sachs’s shamefully lame sidebar about embracing teetotalism. Because if the benefits of getting on the wagon are limited to cheaper dinners and quality talks with girlfriends, then you can count me out. Convince me to give up the drink with inspiring stories of women who rededicated former hangover time to saving the world or starting a successful business, taking up tennis or discovering the love of her life.

Is it five o’clock yet?

At last! Versace is going after the fancy-towelwrap market full-stop. Here’s hoping Donatella has replaced the signature velcro enclosure with something sturdier. When one is marketing to summer-camp alums nostalgic about towelwrapped treks to the shower hut, it’s key they not be reminded of the traumatic occasion during which the velcro came loose and everything was exposed to boys’ bunk number 9. I think some snaps should do the trick.

Anybody who can keep up with Michael Phelps’s eating demands deserves a medal — or eight.

If you are going to get tattoo arm-sleeves, Look Book star Renee Dorski’s stenciled branches are exactly what you should aim for. Vivid color, crisp lines, and clear overall thought put into the finished product. Of course, it helps that she’s hot.