As if the disclaimer in the little red caption box does anything to mitigate the power of the image. Hello, lawsuit!

Anybody else notice how November Vogue is all about food obsession? Elizabeth Weil (entertainingly) chronicles her husband’s insane endeavor to cook every recipe published by Alice Waters of Chez Panisse. Socialite Sandy Hill apparently can’t let a mealtime go by without turning it into a formal feast. And Jeffrey Steingarden, well, he is doing his ridiculous Jeffrey Steingarden thing that I can’t believe anybody actually reads. Can you imagine the drool dripping off the page proofs from the poor starving editors?

Could W’s at-home portfolio of Marc Jacobs and his pathetically trendy art collection be anything but a singles ad? It’s like he’s screaming, “I’m cut! I’m rich! I’m dying to be your sugardaddy! Please! Someone! Anyone! Accept me!” Euw.

A couple years ago, I was at the newsstand with The Original MILF (aka, my mom) and our conversation went something like this:

The Original MILF: Can you please explain to me why your generation is so enamored with Jennifer Aniston? She’s not that pretty and she’s not that interesting and she’s so one-dimensional. What is she doing on so many magazine covers?

Me: Sorry, I can’t explain why anybody thinks she’s cool. I mean, she snagged Brad Pitt and that’s shocking but it’s not like she’s gonna reveal how many bj’s per day she’s agreed to administer in order to keep him.

TOM: Don’t be lewd. It’s unbecoming.

Me: I know, I crossed the euw boundary. The real reason? She sells magazines. I don’t understand why but she does.

But these days? Could Jennifer Aniston still be newsstand gold? From strictly anecdotal evidence, I sense the masses are coming around to the MILFy way of seeing things.

All of which brings us to the main point: WTF is she doing on the cover of Bazaar’s “Best Fashion” issue? Her clothes are cute, I guess. But fashionable? Intriguing? So bad they’re good a la Bjork? Nothin’ doin’. The only cover she’s good for is W’s brilliant “Art Issue” mocking her celebrity.

I’m a sucker for ELLE’s spunky advice columnist E. Jean. This is the best and pithiest career advice I’ve ever seen:

Aggression is sooo 1980s. These days it takes slyness, originality, dash, perseverance, brains, a weird joy for working, and a knack for understanding your clients’ (and bosses’) vanities.

I wish I had read this when I moved to New York City.