Channeling Amy Winehouse and Anna Nicole Smith — how aspirational!

Hi everybody. This is Mr. MILF, and just for the record, I got The MILF a much better birthday gift than anything she posted about last week. But I’m here to talk shorts, specifically the short shorts trend broadcast in Thursday Styles. I know The MILF thinks Guy Trebay is a great reporter but had he called me, he would have gotten a different perspective on where short shorts stand on Wall Street. Finance guys and lawyers embraced short shorts last year. This summer, the feeling is, to heck with Bear Sterns and the tough job market — we’re wearing mesh shirts and ball-hugger shorts, with dress socks and loafers. Now we understand why women complain about the AC. But as I’ve learned from The MILF, sometimes you’ve gotta suffer for style. It’s worth it.

Just because celebs throw their kids into the spotlight, doesn’t make it okay for Us Weekly to question their kids’ development. Picking on a baby’s progress is plain mean.

Who says gay men don’t get motherhood? Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana totally get it. My life looks exactly like this.

Marc Jacobs is clearly trying to provoke me into writing the same kind of letter to him that I wrote to Junya Watanabe. As you may recall, I posted a request to the sporty deconstructionist to cease misogynistically masking his models, so I could love him because his clothes are so great. But Marc’s frumpy, derivative designs will never get my love, and I could never respect a copycat who has desperately shortened his trend-stealing cycle to a mere two months.

All this for attention from moi!

Here’s the $64,000 Question: Who is that masked model? Stella Tennant? Kirsten Owen? Or a prankster?

p.s. Marc, Hi. Massive apologies to spew so much bile so soon after your maybe wedding. Love to Lorenzo! XO!