Amidst just-won’t-die rumors of resignation, Martin Margiela keeps insisting that his 20th-anniversary show isn’t a retrospective. Well, whatevs to that. Pictured here are what must have been the high-fashion inspirations for FannyPack’s 2003 breakout hit, “Cameltoe.”

Based on looks alone, which one of these long-locked fashion kings would you choose as a personal couturier: The mustachiod gigolo self-consciously posing at left? Or the smiley, affectless chameleon at right?

The shoulders! The duotone! The stain danger!

Balmain designer Christophe Decarnin has crafted a super-sexy, all-angles update of Bianca Jagger’s wedding suit jacket. The way
to wear a white smoking now, however, is to personalize it with such party evidence as red-wine splotches and chocolate smudges. After all, stress-dressing and dry-cleaning dependence are so passe. Now we all want clothes that project the well-lived life!