If your kid is like the MILFspring, you only get to wear a necklace on your Saturday night date. But those days are done! The Etsy seller Yokoo has created the ultimate child-proof jewelry that is simultaneously chic and cozy for cold days on the playground. Thank you, blogue, for the alert. You can now take credit for accessorizing MILFs everywhere!

This is the Platon photograph, in The New Yorker, that inspired Colin Powell to endorse Barack Obama. The woman pictured is at the grave of her son, an Islamic-American who fought in the Iraq War. How’s that for a testament to the power of the image?

The real Fashiongate scandal emerges: Piper Palin carries Canal Street Louis Vuitton. Aside from the mindless aspiration of a seven-year-old, there’s also the inconvenient truth of counterfeit fashion being all about child labor and international crime rings.

Dating long distance is like eating lambchops from New Zealand: delicious and environmentally irresponsible. So unfair! [Slate]

Domino’s Deborah Needleman considers Malcolm Gladwell her best friend. Maybe she should dump him: As Julia Cheiffetz observes on the HuffPo, he failed to include a single woman in his new book, Outliers, about extraordinary achievers.

Vogue India contributing editor Sameer Reddy wins the Insensitive Jerk of the Week Award, with his sieve-like defense of the magazine’s homeless-people-in-fashion story. [Newsweek]

Paul Krugman should share his Nobel with John Swansburg for identifying the brightest light of the economic crisis: the end of the insanely expensive, rarely fun birthday dinner. Unfortunately, your friend who holds these annual me-fests on her own behalf does not read Slate.

Lucky or not: Jossip correctly, but maybe not rightly, points out that Rocco is the only kid over whom the Ritchies will do custody battle.

Was anybody able to make themselves read New York’s Manic-Depressive Economy Issue? I tried. And failed miserably. A tsunami of self-loathing is washing over me.

Every woman in America is in fag-hag love with Tim Gunn, and we owe it to him to find an adorable boyfriend who will idolize him. Twenty-six years without a lovah is way too long for this very eligible bachelor!

Red, White and MILF !!!

I am dying to be at the Women’s Conference.

If you are a woman, Radar observes, These Bad Economic Times are a great time to start selling your body. Thank heaven we’ve got options.