So when am I gonna get the real January issue of W? Because I got a brochure-
type thing in the mail this weekend, and if this is what they’ve got for paying subscribers — not to mention new customers — then I am very, very worried about the fate of this magazine. It’s not just that the book feels so pathetically slim — though, admittedly, much more comfortable to read while sprawled — it’s also that the content feels so pathetically formulaic. And not a little clueless about its target audience. Aside from the total absence of gossip or juicy tidbits about the latest unsavory habits of the extremely rich, there is the completely ferkaktah feature well that lays bare W’s identity crisis — is it a fashion magazine or an art magazine? — which can largely be traced to deputy editor Julie Belcove. I mean, who in her right mind gives the totally empty apartment of a MoMA curator 12 pages, and the cookie-cutter Park Avenue pad of a MoMA board member 8 pages, when you’ve got Christy Turlington looking so smokin’ on the cover? Five pages of fashion in a fashion magazine feels like such a gyp, not to mention a very strange reordering of priorities. All the MoMA coverage feels like a desperate play for free Garden Party passes. Or something. More important, isn’t the fashion audience, and its attendant advertisers, a much larger and lucrative market anyway? For the first time since the ad-page apocalypse, I’m starting to think specifically about casualties and I’m shocked this one-time must-read of a magazine is topping my list. Stupid editors.

A movie ad like this really makes you feel for an actress, especially an actress as hilarious as Isla Fisher, who pretty much stole all her scenes with Vince Vaughn in “Wedding Crashers.” Not only is the timing of a movie about shopaholism incredibly unfortunate, but the ad itself looks like nothing more than a rip-off of a red-carpet spread in Us. On the bright side, maybe she will start hijacking the runways with Bruno!

“Hollywood Recessionista” — it’s not just an oxymoron! It’s a fallacy! ‘Cause it’s not like Britney, Lindsay and Sienna are actually pounding the pavement looking for deals. That’s the stylist’s job. And when you factor in the stylist’s commission, plus the overhead of her assistants, a budget-conscious brand is suddenly much pricier. ‘Cause, you know, stars are not like us at all.

Remember learning about Deep Throat in your high-school history class? And being so fascinated by the amazing mystery and secrecy of it all? I can’t help but think how cool it would have been if Mark Felt had taken his identity to the grave. But, ah, the lure of those 15 minutes …

Read the obit here. [NYT]

The New York Daily News proves it’s the most retarded thing in town, claiming that pixie cuts kill your attraction factor. Hello Halle Berry at her hottest!

Best campaign news ever! Pamela Anderson and Vivienne Westwood and Westwood’s husband will all appear in the next VW campaign. If this doesn’t give you hope for the state of fashion, nothing will. [The Cut]

I hate the new Jezebel design! White space is a good thing, Nick Denton. But I’m really hearting Jossip’s new look. White space is a good thing, David Hauslaib!

Despicable: Matthew Barney Facebook-
divorced Bjork. And yet! A major macho hottie is back on the market. [Gawker]

I know These Economic Times had to bring change but this is ridiculous: Bill Blass is shutting down. [On the Runway]

Nick Knight uncovers the mystery of where to wear Martin Margiela’s “wig coat”: a peep show starring you! [ShowStudio]

Who knew Karl Lagerfeld was capable of being hopelessly behind the times? The ever-forward-looking svengali is the owner of three Hummers. [The Cut]

Best idea ever: The Cut urges Urban Outfitters to knock off a canvas bag featuring a nude Carla Bruni, over which the extremely open First Lady of France is suing the offending French mini-chain.

Kanye West wants to be a fashion intern. Aren’t there labor laws against that?

Attention, maniacs! It’s not too late to do something about Dubya. The so-called Conscience Rule, allowing health-care providers to deny women access to birth control based on personal belief, is getting a big last-minute push. Help! [Broadsheet]

Some singer named Chris Dane Owens has created the best music video of the year, says Sasha Frere-Jones — and The New Yorker critic is right, even if I haven’t seen any others in, oh, a decade. It’s like “Neverending Story” set to Spandau Ballet. [The New Yorker]