Marie Claire is kicking buttock! Once a magazine that held zero interest for me, the January issue is a delight of fabulous product, need-to-read stories and a true miracle: Jessica Simpson, who seems to tolerate looking routinely terrible for ELLE and Glamour, looks fantastic on the cover of Marie Claire. The girl appears relaxed, confident and sexy — a first since dumping Nick Lachey. As for the product, kudos Nina Garcia. I knew she had to be more talented than ELLE would have us believe. Instead of the jam-packed layouts of her alma mater, MC’s pages reveal careful editing, with lots of white space so the stuff can shine. And shine it does: this is real fashion that feels fun and sophisticated, while simultaneously retaining a genuine applicability to readers. Quite a feat. Most promising is the tone. Knowingly tongue-in-cheek, it’s for smart girls who are h-o-t and like s-e-x. Bingo!

OMG! I am freaking out! I just picked up the mail and the January issue of Lucky feels like a pamphlet. Seriously, before I saw the cover — Rosario Dawson, looking stunning — I actually thought it was the magazine from my temple. Mad times, peeps, mad times.

How bad would it suck to go to residential rehab while working your day job too? No, this isn’t the latest ruse of the insurance-industry crime syndicate. It’s actually considered a perk of the Wonderland Center, a celebrity rehab joint whose starfucker of an owner is the subject of a disturbingly hilarious profile by Amanda Fortini of The New Yorker. Then again, if I were an actor or a musician with a pan-drug habit that I wasn’t so keen to kick, I’d want to continue my “treatment” on tour too. Exhibit A, above!

If you are like me and most Americans, you may have a little extra padding in places where you did not at this time last week. Trust me, I know, it sucks. The good news is Sandra Backlund, a Swedish genius who knits architecture for the body (and who recently won Hyeres, the prize that catapulted Viktor & Rolf to fashion stardom). The clothes are not only form fitting and gorgeous, but they also distract from those new (and definitely temporary) rough spots with unexpected sculptural pop-ups. The best part is that they’re knits, so they’re ultra-comfy too.

www.sandrabacklund.com