Dear Terry McMillan,

I’m so flattered you liked my March 3 post on MObama’s booty. Not that you sent an email of appreciation, or even Twittered about it. Nah, you put it right in the pages of the highest-profile media outlet — New York Magazine — in a story that will surely prove a fan-favorite: a love letter, of sorts, to our totally rad First Lady. That’s really cool of you, Ter, because your imprimatur means a lot. I mean, despite what everybody else said about “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” I really dug it. At the cinema, but still. Anyway! I have a teensy favor to ask, and it’s kind of awkward. Next time you, um, pass off my idea as yours and transform it into a black thing, can you please gimme credit? You’re so major, and I’m only major in my own mind, and the publicity would really rock.

Thanks, babe!

Love,
Magazine MILF

p.s. Not that it will do much good now, but please let your editors know that, in my humble opinion, Billi Kid’s gorgeous portrait, above, should have been the cover. I know it would have tricked up the title and the cover lines, but trust me, art directors always itch for a challenge. And that black-Barbie thing Mr. Moss chose is a disgrace.

p.p.s. How wrong is Caitlin Flanagan about Michelle’s lack of taste? She is retarded.