Magazine Milf

Sayonara, Sweethearts

The MILF — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:00:52 +0000

Darlings,

Today is the official start of my maternity leave, and so I must bid you adieu until October. Please continue to email me with comments and love. Most important, get yourself the best summer ever, and I’ll see you in the fall.

Air kisses galore!
Magazine MILF

Why Now? Because Fashion Is the Herd

The MILF — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:36:11 +0000

I used to snigger when I’d come upon Vogue’s lazy-seeming reasoning behind a trend: “It feels right, right now” or “It feels fresh.” But after reading Eric Wilson’s so-called investigative story in The New York Times about the arrival of the round glasses trend, I now realize that Vogue is onto a pretty basic truth about why we like what we like — sometimes, we just do, if for no other reason than we crave change. Because no matter how much so-called evidence one turns up about why so many designers fall for a certain style, as Wilson does, and why we all follow it, any reasoning for something so subjective seems contrived. Besides, as Wilson points out, the last time round shades were hot was in 1989 — and as every experienced style observer knows, two decades represents the life cycle of nearly every trend, from music to makeup to sunglasses.

Johnny Depp Deserves Better

The MILF — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:47:50 +0000

I know everybody is up in arms about Harper’s Bazaar putting a recylced pic of Angelina Jolie on its July cover — the turn to tacky tabloidism must be a big morale boost in the face of a 15% drop in newsstand sales — but I’m reserving my visual ire for the wasted opportunity that is Vanity Fair’s Johnny Depp cover and feature spread. It’s not often that we get to see the most talented and courageous actor of our generation — and my lifelong “21 Jump Street” crush — in the glossies. While VF’s treatment may be the product of a commissioned shoot, it has the cheap look and feel of pickup art. Now, I understand that Depp is nearly as difficult to style as Jolie, but that’s no excuse for giving us girls nothing gorgeous to gawk at. I mean, how hard could it be to get him to take his shirt off?

Bagels and Lox with Bruno Schultz

The MILF — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:18:45 +0000

If you are looking to fall in love — or merely sigh with longing about a shamefully underknown literary genius — look no further than David Grossman’s wonderfully wistful and highly personal profile of Bruno Schultz in the June 8 issue of The New Yorker. A Polish author who perished under mysterious circumstances in the Holocaust — Grossman adds his own fascinating investigative reporting to the already-existing varying and heartbreaking stories — Schultz, as Grossman puts it, has “an aura of wonder and mystery [that] hovers ceaselessly over his works and his biography,” inspiring such giants as Philip Roth, Cynthia Ozick and Grossman himself to make Schultz a character in their books. I’ve no idea what Roth and Ozick did with Schultz, but Grossman’s treatment makes me swoon. The type of gentle soul who, as a fomer student describes him, “kind of apologizes for their very existence,” Schultz, in Grossman’s fantasy, is smuggled out of wartime Poland and jumps into the sea to join a school of salmon — salmon not only because there is something “very Jewish” about the fish’s lifelong journey from freshwater home to the sea and back, but also because, like salmon, Schultz’s writing is so much about “the primal, naked impulse of life, which salmon seem to sketch in their long journey.” Part murder mystery, part pilgrimage of discovery, Grossman’s introduction (to me) of Bruno Schultz, is all six-pointed stars.

I-Want-It Wednesday: Latex by River Island

The MILF — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 10:00:56 +0000

When I was a wee lass of an assistant at Visionaire, my daily unifom was anchored by a pair of shiny latex trousers found in an East Village S&M shop. Although I didn’t realize it then, they functioned as unconsciously appropriate suiting for the verbal beatings doled out by evil headmistress Stephen Gan. (Not that I ever succeeded in dominating anything about him except for his rage.) Then I gave notice, and I never wore the pants again. But that was in the era of, like, Y2K, and given today’s gory state of affairs — not to mention the chaos over which I will preside when MILFspring #2 arrives next month — I’m ready to reclaim my shiny, brutalist heritage in the far greater stylish guise put forth by the River Island kids. The tight nude top may be boffo for breastfeeding, but imagine the stain resistance!

River Island via Style Bubble.

It Worked!

The MILF — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:27:01 +0000

Mr. MILF sent the most beautiful bouquet! Per yesterday’s post about a New York Times Styles story on the Obama date night that’s pressuring American men into romancing their wives — my favorite being the man who sends his wife flowers every Tuesday — Mr. MILF messengered over a gorgeous bouquet of red everything that’s gonna make the upcoming Hump Day extra special. So, between date night and Ms. Michelle, could the Prez have the ladies’ vote any more locked up?

New York Spreads the Word About the City’s Doctors

The MILF — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:30:40 +0000

The annual advertising bonanza that is New York Magazine’s Best Doctors weirdness is back. And when I wasn’t marveling at some of the ugliest advertisements I’ve ever seen — the Personal Injury Litigators Conference 2009 took the prize for its unprecedented combination of ugly-sleazy and ugly-looking — I was riveted by the doctors’ confessionals detailing their first limb amputation, heart transplant, etc., as well as by which of my doctors made the (dubious) grade. First the good news: The dermatologist who I hate who topped the list for years has been eliminated, while the incredible Yuman Fong, who performed the revolutionary Whipple procedure on my father, is in. The maternal and fetal medicine inductee who does a very nice job on my ultrasounds — and is likely one of the very few gay gynecologists in existence — is suspected by my fabulous OBGYN, who is never on the list, of milking expectant parents’ fears by ordering up nonessential ultrasounds. He also happens to be on the board of my building, and is reputedly a staunch opponent of every child-friendly measure proposed. But I am reserving my main grievance for the pair of pediatricians whose well-regarded practice I am leaving because every office visit makes me cry or want to throttle someone for the obnoxiousness endured. It just goes to show that the best recommendations come not from peers — who don’t even use a doctor’s services (that’s how New York’s survey is conducted) — but from trusted friends who have actually experienced a doctor’s diagnoses, in addition to her bedside manner and even her office staff. One more thought for next year’s round-up: Wouldn’t it be interesting to know how many of our city’s “best doctors” take insurance?

Red Sunset

The MILF — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:27:04 +0000

When even Karl Lagerfeld makes a completely unsubtle market-whore move that proves the opposite of prescient, you know you’re living in roller-coaster times. For Chanel’s latest Paris-Russia collection ad campaign, the Kaiser dressed up the Moscow-born goddess Sasha Pivovarova in a bounty of hyper-explicit Czarist booty. No doubt, when the shoot was planned last fall, Lagerfeld, like everybody else, was counting on the oligarchs to remain conspicuous-consumption maniacs. Alas, even those gilt-laden lads and their mistresses have cut back and the privately held Chanel was forced to lay off 200 staffers earlier this year.

Om’ing Your Way to Oblivion

The MILF — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:58:02 +0000

Yoganomics — now there’s something New York Times parenting columnist Lisa Belkin could have really sunk her teeth into. Alas, all we got were bitemarks by Emily Bazelon in The New York Times Magazine this week. Writing about the perilous fate of urban freelancers during the downturn, Bazelon focuses on a single mom named Lisa Feuer who became a yoga instructor after divorcing her husband and losing her job doing publicity for his record label. While Bazelon glosses over Feuer’s childcare issues and how they prevent her from supplementing her meager income by, say, bartending, one can just imagine how, in the hands of Lisa Belkin, this would have been a heartbreaking story about the perilous fate of middle-class single moms who equally desire an honest living and time with their children, and how being an employee usually prevents that kind of best-of-both-worlds, nice-life scenario. What’s more, women require safer working conditions than men, limiting their choices as well as their compensation — because even the rich people on whom these female independent contractors typically depend are savvy enough to cut private yoga instruction immediately in a recession. As everybody knows, though, there is no safety net for trust-fund-free single moms. But the services they provide — yoga, massage, family photography — are often the things that, however trivial and indulgent they may appear to be, promote health and happiness. Don’t these women deserve the same?

Ginnifer Goodwin Auditions for David Lynch, Lands Ben Stiller

The MILF — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:40:46 +0000

Straight from the school of Zoolander fashion photography! Ginnifer Goodwin with gigolos in W!

Despite the forced image subversion — the story is titled, “Goodwin Goes Bad” — ooh — let’s acknowledge the really serious reality check of the shoot. With relief from the cliche of girl love in favor of boy love — replete with jealousy, S&M and plywood — we’re getting something just a tad more reflective of the real, ah, cliches of fashion world, don’t you think?